Welcome to me.

24 hours a day.

365 days a year.

Time passes. Almost 23 years ago I was brought into this world, 22 years 11 months and 30 days to be exact (yeah I googled that). Although many might say i’m at the pinnacle of my youth, i’ve come to the stark realization that one of my most dreaded fears has become my reality. I am an adult. Legally I have been one for 5 years, truthfully i’ve yet to act the part.

This is what I know:

  1. Getting old is easy
  2. Growing up is hard

Let me elaborate, I am the Master of Procrastination, the Sultan of Sluggishness, the Lord of Lazy, the Virtuoso of… Well you get it; I put things off. Here’s my observation you can do absolutely nothing all day everyday and time will pass. You can work hard, set goals, achieve them repeating setting them up and knocking them down like dominos and you know what happens? Time passes. No matter how you live your life time keeps ticking. You can sit around and wait for time to pass and sure enough it will, you don’t have to look anywhere or do anything; getting old is easy in the sense that it comes right to you, delivery with a smile.

Growing up on the other hand is a challenging feat, certainly no walk in the park. Rome wasn’t built overnight and either was your adult self. You gotta dig deep into your very being and ask: “What the fuck am I doing with my life”. You gotta take responsibility. Damn the “R” word I don’t even like to type the word let alone say it out loud. It feels like it’s 10 years premature to be in my thoughts. But there you are, you ugly son of a bitch. Growing up means you can’t give into every urge or desire (something I have struggled with for years), grown ups don’t get high and fuck around with their friends everyday.

This is where I’m at, a sort of culmination of both my observations and finally grasping what it means. I’m 23, okay I’m not old yet but I’m not a kid any more. For the past 23 years i’ve sat around observed but i’ve had big dreams of doing something great and i’ve been waiting for the moment to fall into my lap like present on Christmas morning. SURPRISE!!! It doesn’t work like that, which may sound obvious but I am just now coming to understand that. I actually believed for most of my life that I was owed something because I had a turbulent childhood.  I believe in miracles, I think they happen everyday and I know they’ve happened to me but my success as a person will be no miracle. It will only come to fruition through my own blood sweat and tears. As a person I am passionate and have all this energy but it’s sporadic and directed all over the place; my next step toward proper adulting is to find my focus.

More later…

-Regular Dude Man

 

 

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